Sooooo tired. I feel like no matter how much sleep I get, I am still exhausted and have been everyday since he left. I thought my week days would be ok since we have been in a long distance relationship since day 1, but my body has just shut down. Yuck. I have been trying to into a workout routine, but I can't seem to find the motivation. I have been eating healthier, but still, no energy. I'm blaming it on the mixture of him leaving and being on my period right now (sorry if there are guys reading, haha), so hopefully next week will be a little better. I've given up on the rest of this work week, though.
On a happier note, I have been keeping track of the weather and have decided that I am going to do my first solo backpacking trip at Uwharrie this weekend. It will just be for one night and I'm going to a place I've been before, so I think it will be a good experience. (And for my parents and grandparents who I know will be concerned... Don't worry, there is cell phone service on the entire trail) Sophie and I love being out in the woods and I am in desperate need of some endorphins so the hike will be good for us. I am pretty excited to use all my new backpacking gear. I've already got my trail planned out and have started packing my things.
Ok, well, the bed is calling my name. I'm off to answer to it...
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Back to work! - day 3 (2/26)
Well, it was back to work today and with that I was hoping to feel a little bit of normalcy. I indeed did, but not in the best ways.
I know I am extremely lucky to have an amazing boss who completely understands the ups and downs of ones personal life. He has the philosophy that if you get your work done on time, it's done well, and its done right, then he doesn't care when you take off, come in late, or leave early. It's an awesome advantage, but he also knows that my job isn't necessarily a 'career' either. He knows when my lease runs out this year that I am planning on moving on. I just passed my two year mark of working for him and have been slowly losing interest in the daily ins and outs of my job. The work we do is important and interesting, but our studies are time consuming and a lot of our hard work seems to go to waste. It's not anyone's fault, it's just how science works, but it can be exhausting and a little less rewarding than I'd like.
Today I felt the full effect of both my frustrations at work and the stress of Brandon leaving at the same time. They seemed to feed off each other. I got my work done on time, it was done well, and it was done right, but I was not enthusiastic about it. I was sad all day and the pouring rain didn't do much to help that.
As a positive, I did get to text with Brandon for most of the day since he had the day off and therefor had wireless access. Starting tomorrow, I won't be that lucky since he begins work. So even that seemed to be a false sense of normalcy.
Well, here is to hoping tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe the sun will come out and (quite literally) brighten up my day a little...
I know I am extremely lucky to have an amazing boss who completely understands the ups and downs of ones personal life. He has the philosophy that if you get your work done on time, it's done well, and its done right, then he doesn't care when you take off, come in late, or leave early. It's an awesome advantage, but he also knows that my job isn't necessarily a 'career' either. He knows when my lease runs out this year that I am planning on moving on. I just passed my two year mark of working for him and have been slowly losing interest in the daily ins and outs of my job. The work we do is important and interesting, but our studies are time consuming and a lot of our hard work seems to go to waste. It's not anyone's fault, it's just how science works, but it can be exhausting and a little less rewarding than I'd like.
Today I felt the full effect of both my frustrations at work and the stress of Brandon leaving at the same time. They seemed to feed off each other. I got my work done on time, it was done well, and it was done right, but I was not enthusiastic about it. I was sad all day and the pouring rain didn't do much to help that.
As a positive, I did get to text with Brandon for most of the day since he had the day off and therefor had wireless access. Starting tomorrow, I won't be that lucky since he begins work. So even that seemed to be a false sense of normalcy.
Well, here is to hoping tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe the sun will come out and (quite literally) brighten up my day a little...
Monday, February 25, 2013
Deployment - day 2 (2/25)
Day 2. Ugh. Talk about exhaustion.
I woke up this morning at 7am, got dressed (kinda, do yoga pants count as 'dressed'?), packed up the truck and then headed toward Norfolk to pick up a package at UPS for Brandon. On Saturday the lady told us the package would get there at 8am on Monday morning. Well, what she didn't tell us is that the UPS store apparently doesn't open until 9:30. Luckily, there were people working and a super sweet lady came out and told me that they weren't open but that she would check on his package. It turns out that it had just arrived and just needed to come down the belt. I waited for about 20 minutes and it finally got there and I thanked the lady multiple times for helping me out. I think she could tell I was a mess.
I loaded the pelican box with his Xbox stuff into the truck and then took off for Raleigh to see my Sophie dog. I had originally planned on going into work, but as I started driving, I decided I needed a day for myself. After the long drive home and lots of thinking, I got out and went up to my apartment and had a nice cry with Sophie by my side. It was comforting to be back home with her. I laid on the sofa for a bit deciding on what I wanted to do and decided that if I was just going to lay there I was going to be miserable.
I loaded up my car and headed to the post office. I got up to the counter with the pelican case and told the woman that I needed to send it to Bahrain and explained to her that I was new at this. She was super nice and patient with me as we filled out the paper work. The lady behind in line overheard our conversation started asking about Brandon. She explained that her husband was in the Army and she was familiar with how things worked. She gave me good advice about keeping extra paperwork around so it takes less time at the post office and that you can get the flat rate boxes for cheaper if you a sending them to a military base. She was very sympathetic and asked if I had a good support system of people who would understand what I was going through. It was really sweet. When everything was finally ready to be sent the lady at the counter said that she would be praying for Brandon's safe return as she was trying to not cry.
It has been a very humbling thing to experience all these people, even strangers, expressing gratitude and concern to Brandon and I. It means a lot to me.
At around 4:30pm, I finally heard that he had made it to Bahrain and that he was all checked in! It was just a few quick text messages, but it was nice to hear that he made it ok. It was 11:30pm over there and he said he was exhausted, so I am sure he is going to bed soon. I miss him a lot already. It's hard to not be able to talk to your best friend whenever you want. :(
As for the rest of the night? I have a hot coffee date with Stephanie and then with my bed. :)
I woke up this morning at 7am, got dressed (kinda, do yoga pants count as 'dressed'?), packed up the truck and then headed toward Norfolk to pick up a package at UPS for Brandon. On Saturday the lady told us the package would get there at 8am on Monday morning. Well, what she didn't tell us is that the UPS store apparently doesn't open until 9:30. Luckily, there were people working and a super sweet lady came out and told me that they weren't open but that she would check on his package. It turns out that it had just arrived and just needed to come down the belt. I waited for about 20 minutes and it finally got there and I thanked the lady multiple times for helping me out. I think she could tell I was a mess.
I loaded the pelican box with his Xbox stuff into the truck and then took off for Raleigh to see my Sophie dog. I had originally planned on going into work, but as I started driving, I decided I needed a day for myself. After the long drive home and lots of thinking, I got out and went up to my apartment and had a nice cry with Sophie by my side. It was comforting to be back home with her. I laid on the sofa for a bit deciding on what I wanted to do and decided that if I was just going to lay there I was going to be miserable.
I loaded up my car and headed to the post office. I got up to the counter with the pelican case and told the woman that I needed to send it to Bahrain and explained to her that I was new at this. She was super nice and patient with me as we filled out the paper work. The lady behind in line overheard our conversation started asking about Brandon. She explained that her husband was in the Army and she was familiar with how things worked. She gave me good advice about keeping extra paperwork around so it takes less time at the post office and that you can get the flat rate boxes for cheaper if you a sending them to a military base. She was very sympathetic and asked if I had a good support system of people who would understand what I was going through. It was really sweet. When everything was finally ready to be sent the lady at the counter said that she would be praying for Brandon's safe return as she was trying to not cry.
It has been a very humbling thing to experience all these people, even strangers, expressing gratitude and concern to Brandon and I. It means a lot to me.
At around 4:30pm, I finally heard that he had made it to Bahrain and that he was all checked in! It was just a few quick text messages, but it was nice to hear that he made it ok. It was 11:30pm over there and he said he was exhausted, so I am sure he is going to bed soon. I miss him a lot already. It's hard to not be able to talk to your best friend whenever you want. :(
As for the rest of the night? I have a hot coffee date with Stephanie and then with my bed. :)
Deployment - the weekend before and day 1 (2/24/13)
So I've decided to start keeping a blog of my journey through Brandon's deployment. This will be both for myself and for others to keep up with what's going on. Don't expect anything too profound or perfectly worded sentences. I was never big on writing, this is more for therapy :)
Starting with Thursday night (2/21) and my adventure to Norfolk... Brandon wanted me to have his truck while he was gone, so I started to walk the 2.5 miles from my apartment to the bus station that would take me into down town Raleigh and drop me off close to the greyhound station, which would the proceed to take me straight to Norfolk. Well, It good thing that first bus was 6 minutes late because I definitely underestimated how long it would take me to walk that far. I would not have made it down town in time if it had been running on time. I ran half of the way because I realized I was going to be late and ran up to the stop as the bus was pulling up! Talk about lucky (and maybe some divine intervention)!
Once I got to down town I got a little anxious about riding the greyhound by myself, but once I got in there, I put my headphones in (with no music playing so I could still be aware of my surroundings) so people would leave my alone. My plan worked, no one bothered me and my bus ride was actually quite pleasant. Brandon picked me up from the station and when we saw each other it was like we both knew it was going to be a bitter sweet weekend. Our first hug was both happy and sad.
The next couple of days we woke up and ran a bunch of errands he needed to get done and started going through his things. We got his truck's oil changed, picked up last minute items from Target, got him a new flight suit and got an operating system put onto his new hard drive. We were busy, but it was nice just hanging out and goofing off with him too.
All too quickly, Sunday rolled around and it was time to get packed. His flight left at 7:25 that night so we wanted to get to the airport around 5:30. The last few days we had been going through his room and setting aside everything he wanted to take. Packing wasn't too big of a deal since we had been pulling things out all weekend, but it was kind of fun to watch him pick what to take and what to leave.
4:45 rolled around and we threw everything into the truck and took off for the Norfolk airport. He was flying United Airlines to DC then to Kuwait and then finally to Bahrain. The drive to the airport was interesting. We didn't say much of anything, we held hands and only whispered the occasional 'I love you' and, of course, I cried.
Once we got to the airport, we parked the truck in short term parking and I followed him in and helped him with his bags. The lady at the counter checked him and and after some rearranging of weight in one of the bags we were about to walk off when the lady asked if I would like a gate pass! I didn't know that they did that anymore, but I was excited to find that they had recently started back! So I grabbed my ID out of the truck, got my pass, and went thru security with him. Those last couple hours together were nice, but still very hard. They started to board the plane and I gave him one last big hug and kiss. As I started to walk away, the tears started flowing. I'll never forget that walk out of the airport.
I got back in the truck and dried my eyes long enough to pay for parking and then headed toward Chesapeake. I cried the whole way back to Josh and Jelana's. Once I got in the house I started packing things up a little and then Jelana came to see how I was doing. I couldn't even say I was doing ok without choking up. She asked if I needed a hug and I am sure I sounded like a child when I broke down and said yes, but I didn't even care. Her hug was the exact comfort I needed at that moment, especially since she knew exactly how I felt. She just stood there and hugged me for a while and it was the first little comfort I had found.
After my minor break down I tried to focus on packing my things up. I knew I would hear from him one more time before he boarded the plane in DC. He landed in DC around 8:15 and we talked and texted back and forth a little more until that plane left at 9:50. He said that plane ride would be almost 12 hours long. Ugh, I can't imagine being on a plane that long. I would go crazy. After we said our goodbye and he left, I went to sleep early. I was so emotionally exhausted.
And that was our last weekend together before he left...
Starting with Thursday night (2/21) and my adventure to Norfolk... Brandon wanted me to have his truck while he was gone, so I started to walk the 2.5 miles from my apartment to the bus station that would take me into down town Raleigh and drop me off close to the greyhound station, which would the proceed to take me straight to Norfolk. Well, It good thing that first bus was 6 minutes late because I definitely underestimated how long it would take me to walk that far. I would not have made it down town in time if it had been running on time. I ran half of the way because I realized I was going to be late and ran up to the stop as the bus was pulling up! Talk about lucky (and maybe some divine intervention)!
Once I got to down town I got a little anxious about riding the greyhound by myself, but once I got in there, I put my headphones in (with no music playing so I could still be aware of my surroundings) so people would leave my alone. My plan worked, no one bothered me and my bus ride was actually quite pleasant. Brandon picked me up from the station and when we saw each other it was like we both knew it was going to be a bitter sweet weekend. Our first hug was both happy and sad.
The next couple of days we woke up and ran a bunch of errands he needed to get done and started going through his things. We got his truck's oil changed, picked up last minute items from Target, got him a new flight suit and got an operating system put onto his new hard drive. We were busy, but it was nice just hanging out and goofing off with him too.
All too quickly, Sunday rolled around and it was time to get packed. His flight left at 7:25 that night so we wanted to get to the airport around 5:30. The last few days we had been going through his room and setting aside everything he wanted to take. Packing wasn't too big of a deal since we had been pulling things out all weekend, but it was kind of fun to watch him pick what to take and what to leave.
4:45 rolled around and we threw everything into the truck and took off for the Norfolk airport. He was flying United Airlines to DC then to Kuwait and then finally to Bahrain. The drive to the airport was interesting. We didn't say much of anything, we held hands and only whispered the occasional 'I love you' and, of course, I cried.
Once we got to the airport, we parked the truck in short term parking and I followed him in and helped him with his bags. The lady at the counter checked him and and after some rearranging of weight in one of the bags we were about to walk off when the lady asked if I would like a gate pass! I didn't know that they did that anymore, but I was excited to find that they had recently started back! So I grabbed my ID out of the truck, got my pass, and went thru security with him. Those last couple hours together were nice, but still very hard. They started to board the plane and I gave him one last big hug and kiss. As I started to walk away, the tears started flowing. I'll never forget that walk out of the airport.
I got back in the truck and dried my eyes long enough to pay for parking and then headed toward Chesapeake. I cried the whole way back to Josh and Jelana's. Once I got in the house I started packing things up a little and then Jelana came to see how I was doing. I couldn't even say I was doing ok without choking up. She asked if I needed a hug and I am sure I sounded like a child when I broke down and said yes, but I didn't even care. Her hug was the exact comfort I needed at that moment, especially since she knew exactly how I felt. She just stood there and hugged me for a while and it was the first little comfort I had found.
After my minor break down I tried to focus on packing my things up. I knew I would hear from him one more time before he boarded the plane in DC. He landed in DC around 8:15 and we talked and texted back and forth a little more until that plane left at 9:50. He said that plane ride would be almost 12 hours long. Ugh, I can't imagine being on a plane that long. I would go crazy. After we said our goodbye and he left, I went to sleep early. I was so emotionally exhausted.
And that was our last weekend together before he left...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)