One month down!

Yesterday marked ONE month since Brandon left for Bahrain.  I won't lie, those first two weeks, I was pathetic, but I am fully functional once again :)

I've learned that no matter how much I want to talk to him, it just can't always happen.  At first I was putting a lot of time and energy into just being available all the time, so once we worked out a fairly consistent schedule of talk times, things got a lot easier.  I wait to hear from him in the mornings, we can usually text throughout my work day, and then I'll take a 20 minute break from work occasionally and we can talk on the phone, or if I can find a private place, Skype.  That's about all we get during the work week since by the time I get off work, he is already in bed. 

Weekends are a lot nicer because we can Skype during my day/his evenings. 

I have had to find ways to entertain myself during the evenings since I don't get to talk to B during my down time.  I have been playing on a co-ed kickball team, been hiking, studying for the GRE, and discovering new food. :) I am generally happy and distracted but occasionally a bad day comes along and all I want is a hug from Brandon.  Or to at least see his face and sometimes that doesn't even happen.

GOOD NEWS, THOUGH! Brandon's deployment has possibly been shortened from 4.5 months to 3! He could possibly be coming home in May :)  BUT, I have also learned that the Navy can be cruel and tell you these things and do the exact opposite.  The best advice I have gotten from these types of situations is to "Hope for the best, but expect the worst." - thank you for passing that on Jelana! So while I hope this is true, I am trying to not get my hopes up. 

I am off to get some work done now :)

Pictures :)

I promised some pictures of Brandon at work so here are some of the best ones I have found...

Spring is in the air! (3/11)

This weekend was an absolutely gorgeous one! It was in the mid 60's and sunny both on Saturday and Sunday made it a perfect weekend to both get some things done and to relax outside a little.  Stephanie and I were able to get coffee down town and sit outside with Sophie, I studied for the GRE out on my porch, and the windows were open all weekend long. It was beautiful. 

I also received chocolate covered strawberries and flowers from Brandon. I am spoiled :)

 

I was able to go hang out with some people in down town Raleigh on both Friday and Saturday night.  We helped celebrate Stephs birthday on Friday and then I went out on Saturday with some friends to watch the Duke - Carolina game.  Both nights we were headed back to the car before midnight because we were all tired... I am getting so old! It was a lot of fun though. I will miss Raleigh a lot when I move away from here.

I have been keeping up with my work outs and am done with week 1.  I forgot how intense this program was.  You are perpetually sore during the whole 90 day extravaganza.  I can already tell a difference though, which is encouraging. 

I will have some pictures posted later this week of Brandon at work, which I think everyone will enjoy. I know I liked seeing them!  I hear about his job all the time, so it was fun to actually see some pictures of him jumping out of helicopters!

(3/7)

The end of week two is around the corner. Brandon and I are still struggling a little to find a sense of normalcy out of this whole experience, but it is getting better. I am definitely not as hopelessly sad this week, but usually right before bed I start to REALLY miss talking to him. I am so used to telling him I love him and goodnight, that it becomes difficult to sleep when I don't have that opportunity.

I am, however, very lucky to have a lot of really great people in my life supporting me through this whole thing. I have been invited to play in a kickball league, to go backpacking, and quite a few other outings. So now my Wednesday evenings will consist of me kicking the crap out of a little red ball and then enjoying free beer afterward. Then later in March I will be going on a backpacking adventure and be able to test out some of my new gear with some awesome people. I wish Brandon was here to do it all with me, though. His dad has also been sending me pictures of him when he was a little kid and even called to check in :) His family is awesome.

This weekend will most likely consist of taking Sophie to a rabies clinic, more p90x, a hair cut, and other not so fabulous chores. Hopefully B and I can squeeze in a little more Skype time as well. We don't get to do that as much as I'd like.

Well, it's time for this old woman to go to bed. :)

Week 2 begins (3/4)

I gave myself a week to mope around, eat like crap, and be lazy. It is definitely what I needed and now I am feeling a little more like myself. This weekend was lazy, filled with lots of sleeping and a little thrift shopping. Then I went to Trader Joes, got some veggies and chicken and told myself that this week was going to be a bit better. It is only Monday, but I already feel like I have more energy.

I've set some goals to get done while Brandon is gone and to keep me busy:

- I am scheduled to take the GRE at the end of March and am looking into schools or jobs to take in VA when he gets back and I move up there with him. I need to get serious about studying...

- Saving money. Medical bills are paid off and I won't be spending money on gas for a few months, so I am putting money back each month for a travel fund :)

- Start working out again. Well, today was my first day and I am soooo stupidly out of shape. I am doing the p90x program and can't even get through a whole video like I used to be able to. It's depressing but shows how much I need to do it.

- I am also going to start trying new recipes so when we move in together, I can cook for us a little more. I've always liked cooking, but since I have lived by myself for so long, it is hard to find recipes for one person, so I haven't tried a lot of new things. It will also help on my venture to save money.

I am excited to have some things to look forward to and to better myself a little. I still miss Brandon terribly and I still struggle with not being able to see him or talk to him as much as I would like, but having goals helps and makes things a little easier.

Well, I'm off to lay on the couch and try not to move too much since my muscles are already getting sore. :-/

Friday! (3/1)

Well, my plans for going backpacking this weekend are getting pushed until next weekend. I'm exhausted and the weather is supposed to be much nicer by then. This weekend will be filled with lots and lots of sleeping.

It's hard to believe that Brandon has only been gone for 5 days. I feel like it has already been a month. After some initial frustration, I think we have finally gotten our schedules down for when we can talk. The best part of my day is when we can Skype. No matter what kind of mood I am in, it always makes me smile when I can see his face. And for anyone that has talked to Brandon on the phone, you know it is hard to get him to actually speak, but on Skype we can actually see facial expressions and he talks a lot more :). He has also been sending some pictures of where is staying and working. They have got it pretty good over there, I mean a maid comes in and cleans up after them twice a week! I wish I had a maid come even once a month!

Anyway, it's been a long week, and I am in need of much R&R. I plan on falling asleep on the couch while waiting for him to call and then once I've said good morning/good night, heading to bed. :)

Hump day (2/27)

Sooooo tired. I feel like no matter how much sleep I get, I am still exhausted and have been everyday since he left. I thought my week days would be ok since we have been in a long distance relationship since day 1, but my body has just shut down. Yuck. I have been trying to into a workout routine, but I can't seem to find the motivation. I have been eating healthier, but still, no energy. I'm blaming it on the mixture of him leaving and being on my period right now (sorry if there are guys reading, haha), so hopefully next week will be a little better. I've given up on the rest of this work week, though.

On a happier note, I have been keeping track of the weather and have decided that I am going to do my first solo backpacking trip at Uwharrie this weekend. It will just be for one night and I'm going to a place I've been before, so I think it will be a good experience. (And for my parents and grandparents who I know will be concerned... Don't worry, there is cell phone service on the entire trail) Sophie and I love being out in the woods and I am in desperate need of some endorphins so the hike will be good for us. I am pretty excited to use all my new backpacking gear. I've already got my trail planned out and have started packing my things.

Ok, well, the bed is calling my name. I'm off to answer to it...

Back to work! - day 3 (2/26)

Well, it was back to work today and with that I was hoping to feel a little bit of normalcy. I indeed did, but not in the best ways.

I know I am extremely lucky to have an amazing boss who completely understands the ups and downs of ones personal life. He has the philosophy that if you get your work done on time, it's done well, and its done right, then he doesn't care when you take off, come in late, or leave early. It's an awesome advantage, but he also knows that my job isn't necessarily a 'career' either. He knows when my lease runs out this year that I am planning on moving on. I just passed my two year mark of working for him and have been slowly losing interest in the daily ins and outs of my job. The work we do is important and interesting, but our studies are time consuming and a lot of our hard work seems to go to waste. It's not anyone's fault, it's just how science works, but it can be exhausting and a little less rewarding than I'd like.

Today I felt the full effect of both my frustrations at work and the stress of Brandon leaving at the same time. They seemed to feed off each other. I got my work done on time, it was done well, and it was done right, but I was not enthusiastic about it. I was sad all day and the pouring rain didn't do much to help that.

As a positive, I did get to text with Brandon for most of the day since he had the day off and therefor had wireless access. Starting tomorrow, I won't be that lucky since he begins work. So even that seemed to be a false sense of normalcy.

Well, here is to hoping tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe the sun will come out and (quite literally) brighten up my day a little...

Deployment - day 2 (2/25)

Day 2. Ugh. Talk about exhaustion.

I woke up this morning at 7am, got dressed (kinda, do yoga pants count as 'dressed'?), packed up the truck and then headed toward Norfolk to pick up a package at UPS for Brandon. On Saturday the lady told us the package would get there at 8am on Monday morning. Well, what she didn't tell us is that the UPS store apparently doesn't open until 9:30. Luckily, there were people working and a super sweet lady came out and told me that they weren't open but that she would check on his package. It turns out that it had just arrived and just needed to come down the belt. I waited for about 20 minutes and it finally got there and I thanked the lady multiple times for helping me out. I think she could tell I was a mess.

I loaded the pelican box with his Xbox stuff into the truck and then took off for Raleigh to see my Sophie dog. I had originally planned on going into work, but as I started driving, I decided I needed a day for myself. After the long drive home and lots of thinking, I got out and went up to my apartment and had a nice cry with Sophie by my side. It was comforting to be back home with her. I laid on the sofa for a bit deciding on what I wanted to do and decided that if I was just going to lay there I was going to be miserable.

I loaded up my car and headed to the post office. I got up to the counter with the pelican case and told the woman that I needed to send it to Bahrain and explained to her that I was new at this. She was super nice and patient with me as we filled out the paper work. The lady behind in line overheard our conversation started asking about Brandon. She explained that her husband was in the Army and she was familiar with how things worked. She gave me good advice about keeping extra paperwork around so it takes less time at the post office and that you can get the flat rate boxes for cheaper if you a sending them to a military base. She was very sympathetic and asked if I had a good support system of people who would understand what I was going through. It was really sweet. When everything was finally ready to be sent the lady at the counter said that she would be praying for Brandon's safe return as she was trying to not cry.

It has been a very humbling thing to experience all these people, even strangers, expressing gratitude and concern to Brandon and I. It means a lot to me.

At around 4:30pm, I finally heard that he had made it to Bahrain and that he was all checked in! It was just a few quick text messages, but it was nice to hear that he made it ok. It was 11:30pm over there and he said he was exhausted, so I am sure he is going to bed soon. I miss him a lot already. It's hard to not be able to talk to your best friend whenever you want. :(

As for the rest of the night? I have a hot coffee date with Stephanie and then with my bed. :)

Deployment - the weekend before and day 1 (2/24/13)

So I've decided to start keeping a blog of my journey through Brandon's deployment. This will be both for myself and for others to keep up with what's going on. Don't expect anything too profound or perfectly worded sentences.  I was never big on writing, this is more for therapy :)

Starting with Thursday night (2/21) and my adventure to Norfolk... Brandon wanted me to have his truck while he was gone, so I started to walk the 2.5 miles from my apartment to the bus station that would take me into down town Raleigh and drop me off close to the greyhound station, which would the proceed to take me straight to Norfolk. Well, It good thing that first bus was 6 minutes late because I definitely underestimated how long it would take me to walk that far. I would not have made it down town in time if it had been running on time. I ran half of the way because I realized I was going to be late and ran up to the stop as the bus was pulling up! Talk about lucky (and maybe some divine intervention)!

Once I got to down town I got a little anxious about riding the greyhound by myself, but once I got in there, I put my headphones in (with no music playing so I could still be aware of my surroundings) so people would leave my alone. My plan worked, no one bothered me and my bus ride was actually quite pleasant. Brandon picked me up from the station and when we saw each other it was like we both knew it was going to be a bitter sweet weekend.  Our first hug was both happy and sad.

The next couple of days we woke up and ran a bunch of errands he needed to get done and started going through his things. We got his truck's oil changed, picked up last minute items from Target, got him a new flight suit and got an operating system put onto his new hard drive. We were busy, but it was nice just hanging out and goofing off with him too.

All too quickly, Sunday rolled around and it was time to get packed. His flight left at 7:25 that night so we wanted to get to the airport around 5:30. The last few days we had been going through his room and setting aside everything he wanted to take. Packing wasn't too big of a deal since we had been pulling things out all weekend, but it was kind of fun to watch him pick what to take and what to leave.

4:45 rolled around and we threw everything into the truck and took off for the Norfolk airport. He was flying United Airlines to DC then to Kuwait and then finally to Bahrain. The drive to the airport was interesting. We didn't say much of anything, we held hands and only whispered the occasional 'I love you' and, of course, I cried.

Once we got to the airport, we parked the truck in short term parking and I followed him in and helped him with his bags. The lady at the counter checked him and and after some rearranging of weight in one of the bags we were about to walk off when the lady asked if I would like a gate pass! I didn't know that they did that anymore, but I was excited to find that they had recently started back! So I grabbed my ID out of the truck, got my pass, and went thru security with him. Those last couple hours together were nice, but still very hard. They started to board the plane and I gave him one last big hug and kiss. As I started to walk away, the tears started flowing. I'll never forget that walk out of the airport.

I got back in the truck and dried my eyes long enough to pay for parking and then headed toward Chesapeake. I cried the whole way back to Josh and Jelana's. Once I got in the house I started packing things up a little and then Jelana came to see how I was doing. I couldn't even say I was doing ok without choking up. She asked if I needed a hug and I am sure I sounded like a child when I broke down and said yes, but I didn't even care. Her hug was the exact comfort I needed at that moment, especially since she knew exactly how I felt. She just stood there and hugged me for a while and it was the first little comfort I had found.

After my minor break down I tried to focus on packing my things up. I knew I would hear from him one more time before he boarded the plane in DC. He landed in DC around 8:15 and we talked and texted back and forth a little more until that plane left at 9:50. He said that plane ride would be almost 12 hours long. Ugh, I can't imagine being on a plane that long. I would go crazy. After we said our goodbye and he left, I went to sleep early. I was so emotionally exhausted.

And that was our last weekend together before he left...